Ross...the voice of a revoltionary

2006-03-02T14:38:00.000-08:00

okay so I realized somehthing about my last entry on here..its really hard to read ..sorry

if you want to read it , it is also posted at xanga.com/ross_b

yeah..so check it out
-Ross

music and life

2006-02-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

hey kids, so I have been listening to a lot of music lately. And those of you who know me well are saying like "so what?..you always listen to a lot of music." Well a lot more than usal , because a lot of weird and wacky stuff has been going on and I'm looking for an escape I guess. Well a couple of Relient K songs have really hit home with me that last few days in where I'm at right now with God, girls, and life in general. The songs are "I So Hate Consequences " and "Overthinking" , I don't know why but I really took the time to actual here there lyrics and noticed that it was like the soundtrack to my life at this present moment. (That whole last sentence was kind of redundant..) But anyway, I thought I would share the lyrics of those songs with all yall down here.
"I So Hate Consequences"And I’m good, good, good to go I got to get away Get away from all of my mistakesSo here I sit looking at the traffic lightsThe red extinguishes the hope that the green ignitesI want to run away I want to ditch my lifeCause all of my mistakes keep me awake at nightAnd after all of my alibis desert meI just want to get byI don’t want nothing to hurt meI had no idea where my head was at But if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at thatBecause I just want for all of this to endAnd I so hate consequencesAnd running from you is what my best defense isConsequencesOh God, don’t make me face up to thisAnd I so hate consequencesAnd running from you is what my best defense isCause I know that I let you downAnd I don’t want to deal with thatIt just now hit me this is more than just a set backAnd when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn’t get thatAnd every trace of momentum is goneAnd this isn’t turning out the way I want And after all of my alibis desert meI just want to get byI don’t want nothing to hurt meI had no idea where my head was at But if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at thatBecause I just want for all of this to endAnd I spent all last nightTearing downEvery stoplightAnd stop sign in this townNow I think there mightBe no way to stop me nowI'll get away despiteThe fact I’m so weighed downAll of my escapes have been exhaustedI thought I had a way but then I lost itAnd my resistance was once much strongerAnd I know I can't go on like this much longerWhen I got tired of running from youI stopped right there to catch my breathThere your words they caught my ears You said, “I miss you son. Come home”And my sins, they watched me leaveAnd in my heart I so believed The love you felt for me was mine The love I’d wished for all this timeAnd when the doors were closedI heard no I told so’sI said the words I knew you knewOh God, Oh God I needed youGod all this time I needed you, I needed youAnd I so hate consequencesAnd running from you is what my best defense isI hate these consequencesBecause I know that I let you downNow I don't wanna deal with that
This one the last part hit me like straight to the heart. The part that says "when I got tired of running from you.." For a long time now I think that's what I have been doing , is turning away from God and running, but now I can't go on without him. He is saying to me " I miss you son come home..." Maybe I'm a sap , but when I heard that part of the song I really in all honesty started to cry. God really spoke to me through that . Man..good stuff..

"Over Thinking"i was thinkingover thinkingcause there's just too many scenariosto analayzelook in my eyescause you're my dream please come truei was thinkingover thinkingabout exactly how i'm not exactly himi'll break my heart in twomore times than you could ever docause you're my dream please come truecause i think way too muchon a one track mindand you're so out of touchcause i'm so far behindi can't deny this anymore, the facts ignored all done beforeand if there's one in this world,you let me know you're not that girli was sinkinglower, sinkingcause i lost the things i held on tothey let me think a thoughta thought that i would know was notof seeing my dream come truei was thinkingover thinkingabout how far i had let this goone more guy/girl chichéi know now you're just in the wayof me and my dream come truecause i think way too muchon a one track mindand you're so out of touchcause i'm so far behindi'm trying to make senseout of all of thiswhile your fading scentjust slips through my gripi can't deny this anymore, the facts ignored all done beforeand if there's one in this world,you let me know you're not that girldon't touch the positive with the negative enddon't touch the positive with the negative endcause after all of the sparks you're still alone in the darkcause after all of the sparks you're left alone in the darkand while i'm able, i think i'll labelexperience with you as a mistakeand while i'm at it, i'll say i've had itexperience with you is a mistakecause i think way too muchon a one track mindand you're so out of touchcause i'm so far behindi'm trying to make senseout of all of thiswhile your fading scentjust slips through my gripi was thinkingover thinkingcause there's just too many scenariosto think aboutto figure outif you're my dream please come true
Yeah this song right here almost explains how I feel right now as far as me and relationships are going. Its all been kind of crazy lately, and I'm not to sure if maybe its a distraction , or a sign either good or bad. But most definatly it put my feelings into lyrics..
So yeah , music has been an awesome thing for this week.And if haven't heard either one of those songs..go do that cause they are awesome.
anyways..im out
-Ross

Update..or yes Ross still is alive..

2006-01-23T11:43:00.000-08:00

I havent updated much on this blog cause..um..idk..but here are is a catch up from about two months I guess..ill try to get these on here more often.. .
So yeah its been a few so I just thought i would update...
Well first things first ...I lost my effin job yesterday morning at Circuit City . I was there for like maybe thirty minutes and my boss called me to his office and said that he couldn't work with my availbilty and that he had to let me go . Wow, really a shocker, I mean I was available five out of seven days a week , and the two days I wasn't was becuase of commitents I had made to class and my fraterintiy so , yeah that most definalty sucked.
But all of yesterday wasn't such a crap hole. No, no! After I got home I was talking to Lizzie online and she wasn't exactly havent a good day either. Well neither one of us had have very good months , so we decided to blow off some steam and go just hang out in Amarillo . So we went and just cruised the mall and Barnes and Noble and Hastings all afternoon. Man it was fun getting to hang out with her again , its been awhile since we actually have , really that was the first time since we broke up .
Also yesterday was my first chapter meeting as an active member of Kappa Alpha. So awesome I'm telling you to no longer be a pledge . It lasted only a few months , but no its over and I'm a full member. I was ininated Friday, just need to work on my grades so that I stay in "good standing " next semester.
What else, O yes ! Since i am no longer employed I might get to head down to Kerrville this week for thanksgiving. It will be cool to chill with my family and some old friends while I'm down if that happens.
I am about to go check on a job at the Activites Center on Campus @ the bowling alley just to get a little extra cash right now. I hope that my Toyota can sell in Kerrville so that i can pay off this truck and that will give me some breating room.
Lets see still single, although I was pretty sure that was gonna change last week , but its okay , I'll live but I really would like a realtoinship again .
Well until next time kidos..
Yeah so yall most definitely suck at giving comments ... no really. LOL . But it s Okay because I still love all of you . But anyway, to the real important stuff .
Yeah, last Wednesday trough Saturday I got to go home to K-Town for Thanksgiving Break . Mucho Fun ! Although I didn't see a lot of people I did get to hang out with a few and got to see my family. Yeah, seeing your family after being home once in three months is always good, really. Yeah but besides my family , I got to see Kelly, which I is always nothing short of an adventure . We took her car to get her tire fixed and it just so happened that her effin wheel could have possibly fallen off while she was driving ..lol ..so that was quite surprsing. I also ran into Tessa who I haven't seen since gradutation so , that was cool as well .I hope to see more people when I'm down there in about two weeks again. (yes our breaks are retarted I know..)
Yeah ...in case you didn't just catch that ( if anyone cares) I will be back in Kerrville probably on December 15 , for about one month then I have to head back here to Canyon to do semester dos .
Lets see...yeah got back to Canyon Sunday night and had chapter meeting for KA. Let me tell you ..excting.....but after that some of us just hung out and I went home....tried to sleep as usal ...but somehow I found out the hard way I had a stomach bug. I puked most of the night..really no fun when you have an 8 a.m. class the next morning .
But yesterday wasn't as bad as one would think , no no it was salvaged . Lizzie and I went to the mall in Amarillo, and I applied for a few jobs , trying to get on somewhere for a few weeks if I can. Lizzie was getting her hair dyed back to its normal blonde. Yeah it was black there for a while...but she's back to Lizzie again now..
But yeah ...much love...and all that jazz..
-Ross
So here I sit at the end of my first semester of college and all I have left is finals. Wow! It has gone so much faster than any semester every in high school , and trust me was a heck of a lot more fun . But as I usally do Im gonna make me a list of all the yay's and nays of my first college semester...
Great:
- Rushing Kappa Alpha Order, although it cost money I am already so glad I did rush the friendships I have formed in just three months are some of the greatest I have or will ever have.
- Dating Elizabeth- Now this will probably be on the other list as well , but dating her , even though for a short time was simply amazing, she is one of the most beautiful and amazing girls ( inside and out ) that I have ever dated, and although we are not together we are still awesome friends.
-Learning how to live on about five hours of sleep- Trust me everyone, this is a skill that takes omse work, you will learn how to do this very quickly in college. This may not be the most brillant of things to do but you sure do have lots of fun late at night.
-No one cares- By this I mean , you can be you here, you don't have to make up some shitty lie about yourself and try to be someone your not. You can be you and people respec that.
-Learning to choose wisely- took some work and on some things I didnt like sleeping instead of class, but sleep is oh so nice..
Not so greats-
-Drinking - Something I mainly did once in high school , now don't get me wrong its fun , but the reson its down here is I didnt think I would ever do it so , this one is kinda of a toss up in the middle..
- Dating Elizabeth - LOL ! Yeah I know its up top as well. But I have felt almost every god damn blasted emotion with this woman . Really..
-Quiting Cold Stone- Okay so the hours and pay werent great, but at least it was sorta steady , and Ive already had two jobs since then. Wow, lots of b/s
-Not Studying- This is the straw that broke the camels back in math , nuff said...
Well those are only some of what I can think of off the top of my head. But you know. It might be a few before I update again . But besides all of the above let me tell everyone what else has been going on.
Well, lets see a week from tomorrow I'm coming home. Heck yes! So Im getting some stuff ready to go in the next few days. Well be uber hard to get it all back in the boxes it came in but we will see. Might have to leave some at my frineds place for a month.
Been hanging out an effin lot w/ Lizzie lately. Man she cracks me up and I always almost have a blast when we hang out or take random trips to Amarillo for whatever. Last night it was chininse food, Saturday night just an excuse to do something, we went to Wal-Mart at 3 in the morning..pretty much just us there.
I have finals next week....damn damn damn..
Well...thats about it for now..i might update that list later..
-Ross
So heres the deal kidos ..finals ..yeah they start in about two hours.. bleh.. I havent been to bed yet not do I plan too until I'm done with my second test this morning..
Well lets see.. been one hell of a crazy( yes I know I just made that phrase up..) last few days and it all sorta blends together so I'll try to make it sound like seperate days , so lets see Thursday night.. .what did I do thursday? Well I know I worked but Im pretty dran sure that I did something after that ...no strike that it was dead day so I didn't do anything that I remember.. hmm..okay well I probably bitched a whole lot about having to work the next day..no wait that just trigged in my mind what I just did..no I didn't work I deciced to play a little hookie..my truck was acting like crap anyway give me a break.. so I just watched king of the hill and helped Lizzie move a whole bunch of stuff to her new dorm room..crazy eh?
Friday..friday I did work , I know I did.. becuase yeah I just did and it sucked big huge..yeah you get the point..it was just plain sucky suckiness all around for everyone.. .. yeah supoosed to be soem sorta party..didn't happen apparently ...yeah I went home and just did nothing , I played solitare on my comp for like three solid hours..in the dark..trying not to wake up my roomate....I know I did this in reverse but Friday afternoon I helped lizzie move again some more stuff... yeah
Saturday..Man Saturday ...I went and saw Chornicles of Narnia :The Lion ,The Witch and the Wardrobe.( (with Lizzie) . man great great movie I'm telling you..and something I was major happy for waa that it was pretty darn colse to the book...and the visual effects were great so ..good , go see it....went to work.. ( a few hours pass) I get off of work after a long stupid night of doing stupid stuff for the pathiec night crew..I just dotn get how they can be that lazy..really.. but yeah anywho ...I got off work went to my friends house..hung out.. wasn't a lot of fun because some people did some stupid things...but you know it was okay.. and finally yesterday..err..today or whatever time it is now..
Sunday..finally got most of my stuff ready to move home...which by the way I'll be at on wednesday!..holy crap ..so excited.. but yeah ..went and finished putting lizzie's tv stand together..wow.. never thought that would be such a pain to do..but it was worth it for a friend.. work again...got off and me and lizzie went and eat pancakes for free down at FBC Canyon...all night panckae thingy for finals..we were bored ..went to Wal-Mart in A-Town..( by this time its around 2 am..) did random things like dance to old school rock...
...and now we have finally arrived if you read that much thank you..if not now your reading the end...so yeah got finishing studying and gonna grab some coffe before test start in a lil bit..ttyl
-Ross
( will update the great/not so great list later..I promise..)
Home....Tomorrow.. yes ...
Yes yes tomorrow I will be finally coming home for a little while..so so ready .. .really..just want to ba away form here for a while..
...and I hate residential lving and their effin RA's..im leaving with or without him checking me out.....
but other than that one more final ...and huzzah!..im on the way home..
and by the way..
"it sucks to be your feet.....ever"-Lizzie
so yeah ..updating timeso Im back in Kerrville , yeah that drive from Canyon seemed like it might just take forever but I did it in 7 1/2 hours so heck yeah ! When I got here I basicly just crashed because I was so tired . well on thursday I decided that I wanted to got see some old peeps so I "snuck " into my old hs and went to lunch and saw some of the old crew . Man good times, I forgot how much I miss chillin with them all..haha.. Friday lets see..basicly did nothing want and eat lunch with Brian , we caught each other up on each others college experince so far ..we both apparently suck at the college thing..lmao..Last two days work..do i need to go into any more detail.. ...then after work went to SA-town and got my christams present ..my parents are stil lgonna wrap it even though I know what it is ..the big dorks..o well.. ttyl..
okay okay, after much debate ..okay not really , I decided that I should update since its been about a week and a day , and thats a long time for me but anywho..
I guess the main reson i havent updated is really not much has happened . Really. Kerrville is still Kerrville . Work is still the same Work. The only thing that seems to be different here is me . I mean not only am I now in college but I feel like someone different . My view on things has changed since I left here . How may you ask ? Well several ways . One of the first things is that for the first time in a long time I didn't and still haven't rushed to see Kelly while I was here. You know what that means ? I am finally realzing that as much as I wanted that whole thing to work out better , it just didn't and although I did everything I could think of to advance it further, that it was really all me and I am not sure she ever felt the same thing..***Whew! Take a Breath*** Secondly, I have meet new people and friends in Canyon than the few I had here, and realize that there is more to life than this town in the Texas hill country and playing soccer. I mean I have meet my frat brothers , who I trust more than anything and I have meet a few other people , Like Lizzie , who are simply amazing , and way better than anyone I could ever meet in this town . All yall college kids from Kerrville are hearing me ..I know you are ! Somthing else I have realized sine I have been back is at least a small hopeful glimse of what I am supposed to do ..I know that I don't want to work at a grocery store for the rest of my life. Sure I may know the bussiness , but really its not that hard to learn. I just thought about it the other day while I was stocking and its not what I am looking for .
Well okay , Ill get off my soapbox for now I guess.
My parents have given me one more semester at this college gig . I have to pass this semester or otherwise its working for me , but I have a plan if that happens. Hoping it won't because I love it at WT and want to graduate from there.
SO...if you made it down here congradulations..
Im out ....
Okay Im updatin' so please continue on..
Yea..the last week was pretty darn tiring I tell you , most of it was working which depneding on day it was went pretty well..but I realized once again that I am not meant for the bussiness forever ..why ? well first of all , the work I do for that store is greatly underaprecited. Really. You dont understand. Basicly my entire job is making my boss look good for our District Manager . I ( pardon my french) bust my ass everyday , and don't even get another thank you . I just keep getting screwed over because I have a high work effort . " Osuch and such can't comein let's call Ross in.." Secondly, I do all the work of an assitant manager and get paid six dollars an hour , I would like to make at least a quarter more than that seven would be nice but I highly doubt it ...
Sigh..
Anyways .. .wow I have been talking to Lizzie a whole lot. Like every night on the phone they are always quite intersting and random so you know much fun . . and on New Years Eve when she called me , that was umm.. quite funny and awesome by what she told me at the same time.. lol
Today we had the annual amlumni game for my high school for soccer . Lets just say mucho mucho fun . Us alums showed em' that just cause were old school dosen't mean we cant score . We shut them out 9-0 , and I had two goals . O yeah. But I also caught the wrong end of a challenge for a header and my lip got busted open and is now nice and swollen.. O well still much fun.
So yeah thats about it for now..
Im out..
Ross
Alright so .. my lip is not effin swollen anymore. Bueno. Trust me its great. Because on this last week it was really really freakin swollen and it sucked. The only thing wrong with it now is a samll scab , so its almost gone but I will probably have a pretty good scar . O well , soccer players are hardcore . Anyways , you know what I think I am going to do here (and yes Bobby I am stealing your idea hahaha) I am going to write out some "resoultions" for the new year.
1. Get back into Condition: Notice here I didn't use the usal clique of in shape. Becuase I am in shape , I just need to get back into the condtion I was for soccer in March last year. Trust me , I know it sounds like I'm being concded but I have a right to brag . In March of last year I could do two miles in 14:00 flat or under . I just need to strat getting mileage again either on the pavement or on the treadmill at the a.c. so thats first get back into condition.
2. Get off Academiec Probabtion: This should probably be first , but I am going to have to work pretty hard to get off it and get my ass in gear .
3. Go to chuch more: Went to school and didn't go that often but there is a big long story about this which I dont fell like typing out right now.Got a question about it call me. But dont call and point fingers , and try to make me feel guilty about my actions and choices cause I 'll just hang up on you . So there.
Thats about it for now..well keep it three ..those will be pretty tough so..g2g
-Ross
Girls. They are freaking confusing. Really. But I am totally in love with one, that I think might love me too but I'm not sure. But yeah long story behind this short post ...im out ..
-Ross
WOW!...What a weekend. ...
Friday we had a birthday partyish thing for my frat bro Trey ...man good times , and I am glad that I have some awesome friends who take care of me and keep me from doing stupid things ...hahaha...
Well Saturday , where to start, things were pretty slow , until Saturday night came around. Man I went to the biggest party I have been at here at WT. Much fun , but the night quickly turned dramacitc as we ended up taking care of a 16 year old chick who was well past drunk and just wasted ..
but anyways.. im still um .. a little goofy as far as my last post went because yeah it still kinda is just ...
well
duces
-Ross

Ok.... a lot of poat run togeter deal wit it ..

2005-11-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

tues oct 25
Does anyone else hate fire drills? Thats me jumping up and down the back and waving my arms. As ironic as this sounds, since I would like to be a fire fighter , these things are really really dumb. Honestly, if you were to stay in a building with the alarm blaring you should jsut stay in there and burn . Really, because that sound is truly annoying and very obnoxious. The reason for this is that earlier today we had one in our dorm, and there is no way that anyone could possibly sleep through that alarm. Now, I wasnt asleep at the time but several seem to stumble out that were and in plenty of time. So in all honesty I really don't think they serve a purpose. The only one they might is that of getting a head count and most of the time in schools or other wise no one truly knows how many were there . They only has estimations. Like Sunday for instance, the fire alarm went off in the Philidelphia Eagles stadium. Now, it was a false alarm but had it been I'm sure that even if highly choatic everyone would have made it out. They came in a door somewhere , they can find one out. All this talk about fire realted things brings up my quest to possible transfer to the Amarillo College fire protection program. Yeah I would have a lot of the core part done even if I transfered at the semester, since classes in college are by each semester in case you didnt know that. I would mainly have to take lab sciences and start taking my basic fire fighter classes. Then in about a year and a half or two years i would get my AAS degree than on to the fire academy in Amarillo. Wow that would be such a cool job and carrer. I could see myself doing that not only because I have always wanted to be one , but I would love a job where I knew I was making a difference. The only thing that really puts a samll damper on the situation is living arangements . I would have to get an apartement and proabably a rommate but I dont think that , that would be to hard. I know some guys that would probably consider it. But one thing I know is I don't feel as confused and scared as I did when I was making a decesion on post high school plans. This seems to give me a direction , a goal to work towards you know. Right now, I'm just sitting here like I said before , and this would give me motovation and focus. But well see, see where the wind takes me .
"Show me someone who doesn't dream about the future and I'll show you someone who doesn't know where they are going"
Oct 27
Alright , I knw this is goign to sound totally pointless. Maybe it won't we will just have to see. But here goes: Math class is dumb. No really, it is. Out of all the classes I took in high school and the ones that I am taking now that class has the least practical application of all of them . Now don't get me wrong you do need math even just basic algebra , but as far as Algbera 2 and higher maths go, nope no point what so ever. I mean when are you ever going to need to know the logarithmic function of a line out in the real world. I am not going to be an engineer or a mathmetican , so who cares! The state should change the core cirriculm for college so that you had to take these maths only if your major really required it. Since I have no major , instead of a math I would take classes in feilds that intrest me instead of sitting in a math class wasting my time. I mean take yesterday for instance all my instructor rambled on about was finding f at x. He did this for almost a straight hour, no fun. Here, whats next on my list. Ah , something thats seriously freaks me out. When I don't have class , today for instance I sleep in , not real late but around 10:20ish or so. I always get up and naturally I want to go take pee down the hall in the bathroom. But so far , it hasn't failed once, I have had to wait. Why is that you ask? Because we have one freaky female janitor in our building. I have never seen anyone take that long to clean a bathroom. Ever. Really. I think she just cleans in there slowly to see if we are willling to come in there and get our bussiness taken care of while she is in there. No I dont think so . I'm not stripping but naked in front of some old lady for I can just take a shower. Nor am I going to take apiss with her in there either . Seriuosly , this freaks me out a lot. Something else came up yesterday that might be working aginst me, its somethign to do with some money but I am going to do the best of my ability to get it taken care of. Well thats about it for right now, I was going to post yesterday but I deciced not to since I had pledge court and all. Thats where all the new memebers of Kappa Alpha get to go and learn about the customs and such of hte Order. Sometimes kind of boring but this is how the training of each new member occurs. So that being said had to be there last night.Oh yeah, I am like really super , you don't even understand excited about next friday. We have our fall formal dinner at the Amarillo Club and I have a beautiful date ;) . No , really. Its going to be a lot of funa nd I can't wait to go.
Oct 31
Okay, so this was quite the interesting weekend. The second in arow in fact. Well, since I didn't have to work until Saturday this week , I decided to go job hunting Thursday, like I woke up and said "I really need a new job.." don't really know why that came into my head but it did, so dont argue with that. But I went and applied several places and the next day had an interveiw at Circuit City and now I have a job there..so what's this leading up to..I put in my notice at Cold Stone. Yeah, it pretty much just wasn't cutting on money per hour or the hours that I needed to work. CC seems like it will be great, $7.50 an hour , heck yes, I'll most def take it. But the ironic thing about working now at an electronics store is that my effin laptop has decided that it doesn't want the keys tow work, I thought I got it fixed but now just the two middle keys, g and h for those of you who are checking , wont work . I'm talking this is super gay , cause I had to com over here to the computer lab and type my English paper. But that's about it for now, probably have more tomorrow I just got catch some z's
Nov1

Alright kids, here it goes for the day .. yeah until i get some money to fix my laptop , ia m stuck using the computer lab here at school to do most of my typing and all such nonsense. This really sucks , cause I really enjoy IMing you people and its just not happening right now. But yeah anyways , its Tuesday , which means that first and coolest today I don't have class which gave me such much needed sleep this morning . But I really didn't stay up that late last night , or at least it didn't fell like it , probably like 1:30 ish or something , I was on the phine tell like 11:45 so it was probably arounf there. ( Not that yall really care when I went to sleep) . The thing that sucks about it being Tuesday is that tomorrow is Wensday , which means I have pledge court for KA, and tomorrow I for sure have to have the defintion of a gentleman memorized . I really don't see the point in this I know what it means and I don't fell like I really have commit it to memory. But oh well.. Its gotta get done so this it well maybe.HaHa. I didn't do anything for Halloween last night because I never really do , its jsut something I really have never gotten into for some reason or the other . I just don't get the holiday I guess , so all I did yesterday was go to class from 6:00 to about 8:30 ish and went home called my parents and Kelsey and that was how I spent Halloween 2005. Yeah sounds boring I know , but both converstions on the phone were great which is highly unusal for me . I like talking to my parents when they can be civil and not just angry and yelling at me all the time on the phone. And I really enjoyed the conversation , I had with Kelsey as well, as I did the last two nights before that as well.....But anywho..thats about it for now..so later kids...
Nov 4

Well so here it is the start of antoher little tid bit in this thing we call life, (or in short a new post) ...so here goes ...well now we are offically 32 minutes into Friday and that my friends make me truly happy. Why do you ask? Well first of all its friday which means its the end of the week, which is awesome , you really can't beat that with a stick . Second it means today that I only have two classes , yeah thats right kid count em' only two classes, i only have to suffer trough 100 minutes of History and English than im done for the rest of the entire day, is that is the sound of great jubliation that you hear in the disatnace. Third , but not least by all means , it means at 6:20 this evening I will be picking up my amazing and beautiful date and heading off to fall pres. This one kids I have been waiting for , for about a week and a have so can we say that I'm just a little excited. . ...Yes not only will the dinner be great and we get a great view of Amarillo, but I finally get to see her again after like talking to her for the last five days every night on the phone for at least two hours , Tuesday night it was four , so basicaly as you can tell we both like to talk and about anything really..but talking to her on the phone... surely it does not do her justice my friends, no no , but seeing her agian in person will be awesome.Well thats about it kids off to watch a little more tv and then I crash until that alarm bell rings in just a few short hours....
Nov 7

Sometimes I just don't get it..this whole "life" thing . Yeah I know it sounds cliche' or whatever but it really confuses me so badly. Recently , fro instance, I really have felt nothing and seem to be apathetic about everything. The only thing that I look forward to each day is talking to Kelsey (as pathetic as this sounds) cause no matter what is on my mind she will listen to it , reagardless of how stupid and insignificant it might really be. Not only does she listen to me but I get to listen to her and all the beauty just in her voice. I love listening to her dreams, ideas and just about her day , anyting really in which she proves how truly amazing she is. Sometimes, okay all the time I wish that I were talking to her each night in person, I would get to see her , see her smile at me and somehow get that feeling that everything is alright. It would make our convoserstions more complete and filling then they already are. This whole thing might not seem all that instersing to you or such a big deal , but up until the last week or so I hated , really hated, talking on the phone, but now I have finally tamed my fear I guess and talked for literlly hours on the phone with her.Am I in love again? Maybe. But love is a word and an emotion not to be taken lightly or tossed into the air like a feather , for it might blow away. But I know that I do like her a lot and absoulty love talking to her. This so far is the only true feeling I guess you can say I have felt in such a long, long while. Everything else jsut seems null and void, useless to me. I have become almost emotionaly numb to everyhitng else. The things I do feel anything for are to the extreme, like there is a lot of things that I oh so hate right now. For instance school . I love the whole overall experince here but in the end it seems I have no goal , and nothing that I am working towards. The whole concept of academia right now makes me feel like I am going to puke , which I may well. Another thing that is driving me nuts right now is televison blaring and loud and just on in our dorm rom all the damn time. My rommate, yes I am pointing fingers here leaves it on either Comedy Central or FX all the time and we watch reruns of reuns all the time and it truly is an insult to my intellengence. I hate that I am disorgainzed. Nuff said there. I hate where my walk is at with God and that no matter how hard I pray that I seem to get no answer or guidance or direction. I also hate being out of the loop with my family , not being there and expected to now what is going all the time in a town and household all the way across the state. But in spite of all that I feel that Amarillo/Canyon is where i am supposed to be at this time in my life, somewhere deep inside I feel it and I think my time in the Texas Hill Country is through for now. This is mainly because I dont think that any of the realtionships and friendships I have formed here are on accident and that they all have some reson that they are in my life and I in their's. I cant wait until tonight when I get to talk to her on the phone again and to hear about her day .
.....and lastly I love falling asleep on the phone with you knowing that you will be in my dreams and hopefully I in yours.....
Nov 14

So yeah its been about a week since I've updated so I deciced that I better. Here goes....well first off I started my job at Circuit City , and for the pay I'm getting it really isn't all that bad. Good thing it's not on comission , otherwise that would suck , but the two days I've been on the floor I've sold something if only a couple of things, so once I get more knowledgeable about the products I will probably be able to sell something almost every time hopefully. Even when its slow there is always something new to learn or do right now so I'm not bored which is good because I hate being bored on the job. Secondly , I found out this week that we only really have like two and a half more weeks of actual class before finals , at first this was excting but now not so much because I probably need to start looking for an apartment next semester. I hope that all goes well , and I think that is what I supposed to do because I feel that way inside. Lets see what else..
Oh! Yes .. I went to Kelsey's last night to watch the Breakfast Club since she is weird and hadn't seen it ( no she's really not weird...well not that much..) but I think she really liked it, I've seen it probably ten times so just watching it with her was awesome . That made a great movie even better !
Wednesday is going to be awesome because it is our last pledge court for KA , and Friday I will become an active so no more gay little test to take every week . Whew , you don't even understand how glad I am that it will be over since we have been doing that for the last nine weeks.
Yesterday I started reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" , so far I am really really liking it and seem to relate a lot to the main character in the book. Its like how my life played out the last four and a half years so thanks Kelsey for recomending it kid....
Next week Thanksgiving Break starts and my familia is coming up here since I don't get to go down there mainly due to work , thats the downside of this job right now because it sort of requires me being around for the Holidays and not back at home . I intend to talk to my manager at Circuit City to see about the break and what I need to do there.

"I wanted you to know I love the way you laughI wanna hold you high and steal your pain awayI keep your photograph; I know it serves me wellI wanna hold you high and steal your pain‘Cause I’m broken when I’m openAnd I don’t feel like I am strong enough‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesomeAnd I don’t feel light when you’re gone awayThe worst is over now and we can breathe againI wanna hold you high, you steal my pain awayThere’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fightI wanna hold you high and steal your pain" - Seether

okay so dats bascily one update for da last month and all the craziness that has seemed to happen....i really really dont know bout it all sometines , but i'll be okay.....i just freak myself out sometimes over lil crap , that i base off second hand info... but to end all of this im puttin somethin from my friends xanga...
"I guess I can't say it all. I just want someone to relate. We don't have the answers to life sometimes, and the Bible doesn't either it seems. Somethings are out of our control and we just have to sit back and go, "Jesus, dude, I suck so bad at life right now, but I know one thing is real and it's you. And I want these answers, I'm not content with Blind Faith, I want truth." And then he kinda gives you some truth and you're so in awe of what you've just been revealed that you stop, speechless and in awe. Comepletely perplexed and stunned, eyes watering and heart throbbing with that haunting feeling that, even though you just got shaken in your soul, and it hurts a little, that you must have it again"-Bobby

-Ross

Musings

2005-10-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder If I am really supossed to be here, here at WTAMU. All my effort seems to be worth nothing. I try and I try and do the vast majority of all my homework and still nothing to show for it . I am seriusly considering either tranfering to AC next semester or just tkaing the semester off getting an apartment in Amarillo and just working . Trust I would like to live up here , because as much as I am frustrated, I just don't want to go and live back at home right now. Sure I miss my family , but just for the little things you know. But I really do wanna live on my own and get a degree maybe I just chose the wrong pathway to do it . Part of the reason I do want to stay here is I want something different than what I had din high school , new set of friends , new girls who aren't biased against me because they dont see me as being in their group. I guess I want a reinvetion , well maybe that isn't the right word, but to find who I really want to be without the opinions and judgements of others . Even though I have never wanted to admit it up until now and even still my choices that i make have been affected on what i thought somone was going to think or feel about me. I've always been on this pointless quest to be popular or in good cahrecter with classmates, coaches , teachers , friends , parents, whoever you know? So knowing that I now have this uh.... messed up veiw on my future i guess you could say, because I have relied so much on the opnions of others that I assumed that the world around me would quote unquote tell me what to do with the rest of my life . But know here I am stuck in a rut , undecalred major and just barely passing my classes . I'm happy to be here , but seriusly unsatisfied . It all just feels empty. The only thing lately that I thought would help me was having this girl I dated for a little while. The way it all went it felt like it would last longer andd go better than any other previous realtionship I have had.Man, was I ever wrong and know I'm left still searching for an answer. Something else as far as that goes there has been a glimmer of hope , but no need to elaborate any farther than that I am afaird ;). But if I do decicde to transfer come January , I want to go into Amarillo College's fire protecion program . I have always wanted to be a firefighter, and I still think that it would be such a cool job. Dangerous ? sure I know that , but it sure would be a heck of a lot of fun. Going into that program thre I think would also give me a goal and something to work towards , like right now , i'm just basically here , not to sure on where all these classes are taking me , but if I knew that I was working towards being a firefighter , then I would excel. so basicly what was the point of all this rambloing and such? The point is I want to be someone, and know what I'm doing with my life, I want to be independent from my parents, I want to be in love with a girl who really and truly wants to be loved like no other and is willing to love back, all and all ......

I want to be me.......

Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved? -Odysseus .."Troy"

I want them to remember me....

Cheers Darlin'

2005-10-21T17:02:00.000-07:00

yeah im really bummed right now, the girl whom i thought was amazing and broke up with cause i was lead to belive we were taking a break for her grades, is now in another realtionship with her grades still in the pooper. But this would be her 1st , 2nd , 3rd....fourth boy friend in three month's since being here , man i hate getting burned and lied to ... but as i often do i will use a song to put into words how i feel...

Cheers Darlin' -Damien Rice

Cheers darlin'Here's to you and your lover boy Cheers darlin'I got years to wait around for youCheers darlin'I've got your wedding bells in my ear Cheers darlin'You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears awayAnd I die when you mention his nameAnd I lied, I should have kissed youWhen we were running the reinsWhat am I darlin'?A whisper in your ear?A piece of your cake?What am I, darlin?The boy you can fear?Or your biggest mistake?Cheers darlin'Here's to you and your lover man

Cheers darlin'I just hang around and eat from a can Cheers darlin'I got a ribbon of green on my guitarCheers darlin'I got a beauty queenTo sit not very far from hereI die when he comes aroundTo take you homeI'm too shyI should have kissed you when we were aloneWhat am I darlin'?A whisper in your ear?A piece of your cake?What am I, darlin?The boy you can fear?Or your biggest mistake?Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?I got years to wait...

hey that pretty much says it...

welll...

*sigh

2005-10-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

Well that didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to ... me and Elizabeth have deciced to take a break , and it really really sucks. But I see where she is soming from and so im not mad , becuase I am having trobule with grades right now as well, but im really trying to work on them , i still think we could have a realtionship while we work on our grades but just looks like it ain't gonna happen , oh well .....
.....work is going okay its just one helluva drive everyday to amarillo and back its mainly the gas factor and they have me scheduled for way too many hours. I think this in part is becuase of the number of people who quit before we even opened , i think even our manager did as well , but will see how it all works out im supposed to have an interview for a on campus job , working in our campus "card" office . I hope i can get that for the schedule will be a heck of alot more flexible and i wont have to drive to amarillo everyday....
...but other than that college is going okay...im just bummed about my chica..

One day...

2005-10-04T21:54:00.000-07:00

someday , im going to do it . I wish sometimes I could all the little silly details away and just live on the beach somewhere. I could easily do that and never leave. You know just sit on a chair and watch the sunset behind the ocean . I wish I could just go , just me and my girl friend go away to some beach , not even necessarily secluded , but just us the beach , the sun , the breeze. Just sit there ..Just live..Life isn't always about doing the craziest thing . Sometimes you just have to sit back and relax. I know what I could do , just open me a little t-shirt novelty shop somewhere in Corpus , or Maui or anywhere as long as its me and the ocean . Its funny but I h ave always been drawn there , drawn towards the vance expanses of water that surrounded the globe. I am going to learn how to surf , so I can just go cruise the waves. Oh I don't think you would no how much I would love just to throw everything else out the window and just live on love and the ocean . This might start to sound repetitive but its just something that I so so wish to do someday . I think that's part of the reason , I want to join the coast guard , so I can always be around the ocean . Its even farther away now that I moved away to college .It was only about 5 hours to the coast from Kerrville , so know its got be like at least twelve. I would also have a soundtrack that I would listen to , like the sounds of my beach life , one of those songs would be " Wicked Game " by Chris Issak. I love that song, its total sound the errieness of his voice and the crying surf guitar in the background, I could listen to that song over and over and over , I also would listen to Beach Boy albums, and Bob Marley, just smooth chilling music , nothing to upbeat in tempo, just music that I could watch the sun melt into the ocean with . And until a few weeks ago I would have never figured that I would want anyone with me, but right now I would take Elizabeth with me , just me her and the tropics. How awesome would that be , yeah I know it doesn't sound like a very productive life , but I would love every minute of it ,

Find awesome beach
open t-shirt novelty shop
find good beach chair
be with my girl
chill for the rest of my life

so thats about it someday it will happen

God I thank you so much for her..

2005-10-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

Hey there all again its been once agian another wonderful excitining week , which it always seem to be around here . Remember the most amazing girl I told you about ? Well we are now dating and I am loving every single minute that I get to spend with her . I thank God everyday for her coming into my life. Other things seem to being going well , as we have started our offical frat meetings and all went well . Also I start working today at Cold Stone , even though we are not yet open to the public we are going to do some clean up work and maybe make some of the ice cream today so wel will see how that goes. Tonight I am super excited about because I get to find out who my "big bro" is for my frat , my g/f found out who it is somehow and will n ot tell me , but thats okay only a few more hours and ill know anyway. Last night I think I might of pissed my roomate off , because me and elizabeth (my g/f)were watching a movie and lost track of the time and he apparently wanted to go to sleep but he didn't say anything and went and slept in our lobby , the ra saw him there asked whay i guess and came down to our room and said i needed to take my g/f back ,...actually i was supposed to have already because it was past two a.m. , but neither of us were paying much attention to the time so , but thats okay I'm going to talk to my roomate and my girlfreind and see if we cant split time between her room and mine when we want to hang otu or whatever , but yeah it will all be okay, other than that gald to see that most have been on here updating , posting etc, so that means we have a lot of free tome on our hands i guess, well i have to go report for duty in Amariillo @ Cold Stone so will see, and if im ever there in NC i will have some of that tea...

2005-09-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Ross Kyler Brown
Birthday:	July 9, 1987
Birthplace:	Amarillo,Texas
Current Location:	Canyon,Texas
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Blondeish/Brown
Height:	Six Foot
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Scottish i think..Southern US lmao
The Shoes You Wore Today:	My New Balance..
Your Weakness:	short chicks
Your Fears:	Heights a little, losing
Your Perfect Pizza:	Well anything really
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Pass, good GPA
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	BRB or TTYL
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Grunt
Your Best Physical Feature:	my hair
Your Bedtime:	whenever I crash ..
Your Most Missed Memory:	Playing Varsity Soccer
Pepsi or Coke:	Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	MacDonalds
Single or Group Dates:	Single..group sometimes
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Either or
Do you Smoke:	No..I like my lungs
Do you Swear:	Yes
Do you Sing:	Yes
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes
Have you Been in Love:	Yes..
Do you want to go to College:	I'm here..
Do you want to get Married:	Yes
Do you belive in yourself:	Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Nope
Do you think you are Attractive:	Yes
Are you a Health Freak:	Not Really
Do you get along with your Parents:	For the Most Part
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes
Do you play an Instrument:	Yes..guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	no
In the past month have you Smoked:	no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	well i hav eaten some not a box
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	no..why?
In the past month have you been on Stage:	yes
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Well kinda..long story
Ever been Drunk:	no
Ever been called a Tease:	Proabably
Ever been Beaten up:	Close..but i fought back
Ever Shoplifted:	no
How do you want to Die:	Go out with a bang..
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Great question..thats why im a Undecided
What country would you most like to Visit:	England, Italy,Greece
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Blue
Favourite Hair Color:	Blonde, Brunette, Brown
Short or Long Hair:	Kinda in the Middle, not to much on either end
Height:	shorter than me..tall girls freak me out
Weight:	Well not super skinny..but a good figure
Best Clothing Style:	Casul, but knows how to look damn fine.
Number of Drugs I have taken:	0
Number of CDs I own:	Well..like 60 ..plus the music thats on my ipod
Number of Piercings:	none
Number of Tattoos:	none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	ALot
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Wow..

2005-09-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

Hey there all, man in the last week, I have meet more people and done more home work then I ever did in high school.. I know that sounds rather pathetic, but hey you know its the truth and lately things have been rather ironic. Last week , I did something that I thought I would never do , I rushes. For those of you not familiar with that term , I did activities related to joining a fraternity. I ended up getting into Kappa Alpha Order, and so far I absolutely love it. The friendships I've made in less than a weeks time are amazing, and for sure some of these will be the friends for the rest of my life. Also , well maybe its a little too soon to call it, but I met the most amazing girl , ever..Seriously. I met her in a weird way, but actually met her for the first time in person at an ice cream social we had with her soroity. I talked to her on AIM the day before for like three hours and I didn't even know her, and then talked to her for a solid hour and a half at the social , and then after that once again on AIM for like 2 hours. She is absolutely amazing and I hope we can further our relationship. But you know, I don't think its a coincidence. Wow but anyway besides that , I can't figure out how my freakin history prof wants her papers written, both times I followed her guidelines of what she wanted and both times I've received a bad grade, I just don't get it , yet , but I will get to the bottom of this LMAO. Thanks for the comments on the last post those always make me feel great inside. For those of you that are in college and don't have facebook,,you should, its like the greatest thing ever so go to facebook.com and get it . Jo, will you ever post again, its almost been a solid month since your last post, I love reading those things there a lot deeper then anything , I've ever written on here , I really enjoy reading them..Well that's about it right now..I got the job @ Cold Stone , but haven't started yet , .....

2005-09-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

Hello agian
How is everyone? Life here in the past week cause God has totally rocked my face off! Really! I meam all int he last week God has renewed my joy of what its like to live for Chirst despite the outside circumstances! Wow its totally amazing. I went to the BSM freshman bible study and it was totally and exactly waht I needed right now inmy life , it reassured me that I am supposed to be here at WTAMU, and that God has something wonderful for me here. I mean so many scriptures that I have read time and time again are now becoming new to me. I cant think of they exact reference off the top of my head but the scripture in Isaiah, where God says that he has not forgottenus,for he has written our names on the palm of his hand. Wow that was just amazing when I read that! God has also placed a call on my heart that he had several years ago but I've jsut been running from it. That call is to be a summer missionary overseas and I looked up places where they need help and Greece just was placed upon my heart to do sports ministry there. please pray with me that this will be the right place that Godwants me to serve. Alsoplease pray with me that God will grant me direction in choosing a job, I have applied at two places another small grocey store here in Canyon called Lowe's and an Ice Cream place in Amarillo thats about to open called Cold Stone Creamery. I really liked the interveiw for Cold Stone it felt like it went well , so if thats were God is leading me I will soon find out I hope. Well I will pray for all of you , God Bless..ps.today marks the fourth anniversy of the attacks on the WTC , pray for those who will have a hard time today, and to help katrina victims third day is oferring a free downloa of their song , come to Jesus , so go to thirdday.com and dpwnload it !

yes check out for your veiwing pleasure..

2005-09-05T18:11:00.000-07:00

Video code provided by HotCodez.com

Fat, Drunk and Stupid is no way to go trough life

2005-09-02T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hey there kids..yes ..yes I know its been a while but i've been incredbly busy the las tew weeks so I have an excuse so hahahahahaha, bu t anywho i've finally started classes here at WT and I'm reallyloving it. They actually let you think here and you don't have to give the answer that the system wants you to say. Its no longer about standerdized testing or any government standing its about you as a student and your quest for knowledge. So its really awesome here not only becaue of that but because people from all over the texas and the world go to school here. I've meet so many people and I'm getting involved in stuff so I can meet even more. Luckily my roomate is pretty cool and we kinds respect each other space. Studying is not hard in my room since he has class when I don't or vice versa. But another great thing is that this is my last class of the day . so whoohoo..let the victory jig begin , well ill ttyl kids

only days away

2005-08-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

Here I am , just days before I’m leaving to go off to college and I’m scared and excited all at the same time. But what or where if you will does the fear come from? It’s not like I’ve never been away from home before. But never this long , all the summer camps I ever went to or trips I went on were only a week and I was so glad to be gone. And this time I think I’ll be glad to be on my own in a since away at school, a new chance for me too do and see things I’ve never done and thats the exciting thing I think. So I guess the word to sum it all up is that I’m anxious and just itching you know to go and explore on my own for really the first time and my life. But as I look back as much as I get from my parents Im a pretty independt guy already , I know how to do almost every household task you could think of like washing clothes etc, etc . So I think I’m ready for that part of life . The hard thing is it really wasn’t until this last year of high school that I really started to reach out and try to meet people, girls in paticular. It was I don’t know..a sorta fear of rejection thing in the past and this year I just found if your open and hinest with people and put yourself out there , most people will like you. And I hope that I can carry that postive energy into college and make a lot of friends and hopefully meet that one girl of my dreams.. Yeah I know t all sound’s crazy but that’s pretty much how I’ve always seen things , in my own little chaotic way...

today is the first day in twelve years no wait , 13 years that i havent started school along with everyone else , thats so weird im telling you, cause after that many years it was kinda routine you know , but now i dont even start class until next monday , so its like really weird , cause my brother and my mom , who is a teacher had to go back today and my dad had to work so Im stuck here all alone at my house well at least for only two more days...

Only two more..

2005-08-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

well here i sit writing this on my brand spaking new laptop,yes the one which I bought for college and its so cool, my inside joke around here is that this one has sound, my familoes sound card on the family comp decideed that it dosent want to work any more so , i was like computers have sound? but anyway you probably dont find that the least bit funny because in written form its not really that funny , but anywho, i only have 14 days left before im off to school , man thats crazy ythis summer has gone by so fast, but im so ready to go up there and get my edumaction..lmao,but well see how it all goes i think it well go well because when i went to the new student conference I felt that they really wantedme to succed there , something I didnt really get from any other school, i felt that they really cared about you as a student and not just some number in their system, I also meet my roomate , he seems to be really cool from the few minutes i talked to him and the emails we've sent back anf forth , so i think i am not going to have any trobule aas far as roomates go..and since i only have two weeks left actually before i go that means that in ten days it will be my last day at Super S Foods, at least until the holidays when i will come back for about a month , or a little less than that and work there, which brings me to another point of this: that i thinki may have already gotten another job at Amarillo Country Club , working in the bagroom, which i used to do at the country club here in Kerrville so thats pretty cool , I might look for a job thats closer though , well thats about it..

short and sweet..but not sour

2005-07-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

well here we go... haha ..well anywho im wrrting this because i'm highly excited about tomorow for I will be tracking up the the long never ending or so it seems roads of texas and will finally arrive after ten hours in Amarillo , where i have new student orietation at school..im am totally stoked about going to college its not even funny..although i know im going to have to study hard i know that i will have a good time...because it wouldn't be me if i didn't but will see how the trip goes and everything..well ..hmm thats about it today..okay put a fork in me im done..

Good morning starshine the earth says hello...

2005-07-23T08:19:00.000-07:00

alright alright i'll post already....man had it been a weird two weeks...whoa hold on a minute its been two weeks! holy crap! what have i been doing...yeah i know that's what your all thinking and no to all of you who thought i was grounded or some such nonsense ..but anywho in the last few weeks...yeah on the tenth a day after my b-day..we went to a baseball game in round rock wich is like four hours away with the youth group..i saw this girl i had never seen before at church so i talked to her while we were at the game , and she wanted me to rife her bus back , she was on the bus with the tv's well i did and we enjoye dthe finer points of the movie ice age ...its a good thing i had already seen it if you know what I mean ***winks** , but anywho that was quite possibly the best bus ride ever and lets just leave it at that..well today i realized that in a month ...to the day i am moving into my dorm at school..so the daze is over ..well not really but we can say that ...of being out of high school..cause i mean it went really really fast, it's all kinda a blur looking back in hindsight and thinking about some of the choices i could have made right or wrong, and some of the girls i could have dated( wow that one always makes me want to kick myself..so here's a note to you all , if you get a cahnce to date someone who you think is out of your league so to speak..take the chance it will probably work out..once again i kick myself) oh some excting news wll sorta my blog finally caught up to itself and now says i have 49 post or something instead of seventeen ..which was really weird fluke i guess in the system...

i went and saw "charlie and the choclate factory" twice this last week because it was so incredibly weird the first time i had to go see it .. if your a johnny depp fan or liked the first version with gene wilder this movie is great and has a wonderful director Tim Burton i.e. Big Fish , The Nightmare Before Christmas etc...but yeah its defeintly worth the money to go see so grab that out of your leauge person as metioned above and go see it because you'll laugh and be totally tripped out at the same time..

well thats about it ..

18 candles ... jessica..and the dinosaur that took over LA

2005-07-08T21:32:00.000-07:00

wow here i am .. in my last few hours..but no im not on my death bed..im in my last few hours of seventeen..and its kinda cool but kinda...weird.. yeah i finally get to do things ive never really wanted to do so big deal...but i do get to sign off on things without my parents wow tahts great...but besides that , I was really mad yesterday you know..at the frikin terrorists.. that bombed london, man , you know not only are you messing with us , but now there messing with our friends seriuosly uncool..but yeah that mad me mad but just pray for those injured in the attacks and the families of those who died ...but yeah , yesterday when i was at work i was talking about, okay that sounded bad, rembering somone who used to work with that was really fun to work with, and i can't say that about most people but i can about her, Jessica...and liek right after i was talking about what she used to do to make me laugh ,( im talking rolling on the ground, laughing) and she walked in , and gave me hug..it made my day really , it did , it was like th greatest thing ever...and no by the way this isnt the same girl i was talking, about in yesterdays post ...but i kinda like this girl but you know its one of those things that i'm like going to college in a month and should i establish a realtionship now ? i say proabably not although i can't convince my self of this , yeah i ahte being a romantic sometimes cause its awful tough on a person, oh yeah i was gonna tell you something i should of told yall a long time ago..but most of you already know this but MY SPURS WON !! MY SPURS WON!! yes the san antonio spurs have now join teams like the lakers, celtics, bulls, Horry has joined the elite few who have six rings, thats not very man people...and on top of that Duncan is MV-3..mvp of the playoffs for the third time...wow it was exciting ..well..and oh by the way i do live in crazy world ...its called my life

a divived man..a torn heart ?

2005-07-06T21:18:00.000-07:00

when i origanlly wrote this post is wasn't a post it all I wort it down on paper , i was really really angry at the time and had to write something down so i could clear my head , and like i said before i was angry and in it i use some four letter words that i shouldn't have and so on and so forth ...but to not offend anyone who reads this i am going to very kindly leave a blank where the word should go ..yeah thats the end of the disclaimer

Today it suddenly hit me. I say suddenly because that's the way it happened , in just a instance. I finally realized thody that me and her will never be something more than that , two seperate things me..her .. I realized it when I showed up at the movie expecting it to be just me and her together, but she had brought some other guy to somehow be in "attendance" at our date..What the ( ) ! Did i miss the ( ) memo or something? Because i know if id a shown up with some other girl with me and i paid more attention to her than to my original date, she would be ( ) ( ) off and would probably say somthing to the eddect of " who the ( ) is she? you had no right to bring her..." But you know how things go right , its okay for her. And you know what? If I ever said anything about it she'd say like " What? I don't/can't have any other friends besides you?" She'd make me look like the bad guy, whiel she'd sit back looking pretty and feeling high and mighty . I mean it makes me so steaming mad, I wanna hit her , hard , but i can't because i wont let myself because i'm a guy she's a girl you know how it goes sorts thing. I just wish sometimes that I could stop loving her . And one might ask why do you love such a girl that would do all this to you ? Becuase in spite of all the crap she has given me , and inspite of all the times she's broke my heart , over and over again I fall in love with her. You know when she stands on her tip toes to give me a hug and looks into my eyes , and we lock glances , theres someting special , something that I've never had with someone else . And it tears me apart that in about a month , give or take a few weeks more, I will be moving ten hours away to school and I wont get to talk to her as much or see her as much, or feel the warmth of her hug. I guess that I'm at the point where I am stuck in a rock and a hardplace with myself that I will somehow have to figure out how to get out of because I think if i dont I will seriously be a divided man, if im not that already. I think i am that already , because sometimes like you can see above , i really really hate her , and sometimes i really really love her, ...my biggest fear is losing her , I can't describe it anyother way than this : when i know she's gonna go out with some guy i know is gonna hurt her and I know is gonna break her heart , I feel like im at the end of a cross country meet, my lungs are on fire I can't catch my breath , my legs feel liek jell o and i can't walk , im in a cold sweat..you knwo thats what i fell like inside when i think that she's gonna get hurt and here I am with open arms willing to love her for the beautiful person she is and yet she still fades away.....

oh and by now you have probably heard about the attacks on London pray for those there who lost people in the bombings .... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8492258

the fourth of july...

2005-07-04T08:27:00.000-07:00

happy fourth of july to you all! it seems that every time this time of year comes around again i'm like "wow its already that time of year again!?" , or im saying " wow i need to go do something really patriotic " but usally in all truth if that need to be heard , im saying " wow my birthday is in five days my birthday is in five days!!!!!" , yes indeed this saturday i will be eighteen years old , which really only means that i can be trued as andult and i can buy ciggarettes and play the lottery . so thats kind of scary in a way but really excitng in a lot of other ways..you know something thats weird i emailed someone i met last summer at church camp thingy..and shes hasnt emailed me back yet , its probably because I havent or she hasnt for that matter , okay okay we havent emailed each other in while so i guess I could understand why she wouldn't email me after such long period of time, but thats okay ill live , she's just one of the few people i've remembered a ceartin thing about and although i can remember many things about many people , one ting i can remember about her, and it's her eyes she had these really beautiful eyes , blue , so blue that they had almost a clear quailty about them and i had really never seen eyes like that , its just one of those things that stick with me i guess , i dont why and yall probably don't care , about some chicks eyes , yeah but anyway , so its the fourth of july and the country in 229 years old today , so thats pretty good but still pretty young but ill think well still keep going strong or at least I hope so..Im pretty sure we will , but im out of things to say ........

Why do we fall ? ...To learn to rise again

2005-07-02T20:06:00.000-07:00

really what have i been waiting for between my previous posts ...something intersting to happen things usally are very interesting in my life i sometimes just lack the power to right it down , I jsut feel so imcompetent withe expressing myself in these hallowed halls of typing madness , that i forget that no matter how my day went there will always be something to speak my mind on some instance some glimmer in time that i could express my thoughts and feelings on it , such as today and its a quote from the new batman movie "Batman Begins" after young bruce falls down a well his dad ask him the question "Why do we fall ?...so we can learnto get back up.." what power this wonderful quote has , of all the things that stuck with in the movie that is the one that had the most profound impact, (was this movie supposed to impact me ?) But anywho think for a moment on that quote we fall to learn to rise..we have to get knocked down sometimes before we can rise to greatness..so in that sense was high school my getting knocked down , and college be my rising will I finally break out of the mode of daily non-profound non-impacting life, but somehow id like to think that in high school I made some kind of impact on someones life while i was there..several made one on me ill tell you that much , a lot of which are younger than me but that's a whole nother' post ..but falling down ,to learn to fall ..could also not interpet this as also taking one for the team so to speak to further advance your carrer, or your realtionships with your group as a whole? I mean in all honesty you could , I have taken the balme before for the bettermant of my soccer team , I mean if you can show others , you peers that you are willing to be humialted by a coach or a boss for they wouldn't have to they respect you a lot more i think , its a leadership builder you have to learn to take one for the tema sometimes , this qoute i could go on and on about you know it quite possibly is one of the greatest peices of script i've ever heard and ive seen dozens and maybe even hunderds of movies and plays or things of that nature, now im sure simialr lines ahve graced the screen but this one remains in my mind for some reason, it just clicked in mind that in order for me to succed in things sometimes it means im gonna have to fall flat on my face, wether that means by taking risks , or like i said ealier taking one for the team , i just have to be willing not to fall but to have the strength to rise again..yes my friends what a quote waht a qoute...wll until next time kids...

whew..its a long one grab a drink

2005-07-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

hello out there..yeah i know i havent checked in a while becuase simply put i hve not had any time...i've been doing 40 a week at work now so it's money but you know its a lot of work..but anyway thanks for the comments on the last post its good to see those after a while...haha but from what I read everything seems to be going okay where everyone is..lets see what else can I write here..oh yeah on August 24 I have to move into my dorm which is ten hours away from my house so its gonna be maybe a little scary because the longest ive ever been by myself is like two weeks yeah i know that sounds pathetic but its true but i think ill make it..plus all the people that i know in Amarillo , which is only like 15 minutes away, will keep me well fed and moneyfied in the case that i run out of money for some God-awful reason. Hopefully , that won't happen because that would really suck.. but yeah i dont have a major this semester nor do i plan to have one next semester ..i am just gonna take the basics until I figure out what i really wanna major in / which brings up someting else I hope i like college life , because if its gonna be like high school its gonnna totally rock and then totally suck at the same time , but from waht ive heard its not , and you meet a whole new group of people , so that will be cool as well...because i might find a group of people who actually dont hate the sport I love..***( a brief side note on that i think most americans hate soccer because they don't understand the game , and its seriously not there fault though because the american public is seriously underexposed to the sport , what i know as the beautiful game they see as a little kids sport, now dont get me wrong I'm all for youth soccer ,its just that is all that the american public has seen , they have very little exposure to the pro game, and what they do have was the former WUSL , which was the womens leauge , or the old school NASL which Pele' the soccer god played in..so most americans dont hate soccer they jsut think they do)**** yeah but anywho i got a ipod mini and almost have all my cd's moved over to it and i still have a lot of space left ..so im gald i didnt buy the regualar sized one because it would seriously take me a long long long time to fill it up..id be like 50 and would be like "woohoo boogie down i finally filled up my ipod!!!" no not really but just in a hypothecical sense you know..oh yeah i saw the movie Animal House for the first time this last week and it is so so bad but so seriously funny at the same time kinda ironic isnt't , wow okay i think im gonna stop now because by this time youv got to be bored...okay stop reding now

Finally..

2005-06-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

Well its offical I will be heading to West Texas A&M Universty in Canyon this fall...it took me long enough to make up my mind, but hey i guess it was kind of apparant all along since my grandfather and my mom went there... so now instead of saying go..well idk...ill be saying go buffs go..its near my hometown of amarillio so i might know some people that I will be goign to school with...they might not remember me though its been seven years since i last lived there so its gonna be a little weird but hey who knows ..until next time...

Wow i never thought..

2005-06-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

Okay ! Listen to this ... all you might hate me after this. But my political veiws might just be cahnging . In November, I was a mighty mighty Bush supporter, but after seeing the movie Bowling For Columbine , and I plan to see Farenheit 9/11 I am clearly seeing some of the in jusctices done by the our fearless leader. Many of the soliders who have been fighting in Iraq have grown tired and angry of this war.. why truly are we still there? yes we had to remove a tyrannt from power and that we did , but now were restoring and rebuilding by using scores and scores of unnneeded and underpayed troops ... I encourage you all to see thes movies and read the book " will they ever trust us again" I am currently reading it and it has many good points that i really blinded myself over so ponder these ...and check out michealmoore's webiste at michealmoore.com

2005-05-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

ah its me...

10 things...

2005-05-21T20:33:00.000-07:00

As graduatation looms only six days a way i thought it would be great to make a list of things i liked about high school,..and the things i didn't , but well do it in Letterman Top Ten fashion...

10 things i liked about high school...

10. blow-off classes
9.weird yet intriging people
8. coach caulkins class
7. lunch...yeah i surivived the food
6.culinary arts...mmmmmgood
5.pep rallies
4.homecomig parades
3. The Bon Fire
2. soccer games
1.hot girls

10 things i hated about high school...

10. Algebra...in any form this class really dosent help you out that much
9. 300 meter shuttles in soccer practice ( basically throwing up while sprinting..)
8.football players
7. goverment class...but on the very small bright side i got college credit
6. losing in playoffs
5.one act practice...
4.hypocrites ... fake fake people
3.cross country load day
2.taks test
1. girls who broke my heart

yeah thats a small inkling of the list i could create but im really tired from work..which i ve had to do a lot of because people still for some reason or antoher are not coming to work..but anyway...high school was fun...but not its done...haha that ryhmed ..well ttyl

has it really been that long...

2005-05-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

wow , its been a while since i've been ...and for no other fact accept for that im lazy and ive been to tired to type or think or anything...yep...well today is exciting and tommorow will be even more excited, because tommorrow on fri ...i will have two weeks left until i graduate...man it has gone by so fast and shows no sign of slowing, while the rowers keep rowing..<===willy wonka+ ...yeah but anyway i have had a lot of time off at work..okay this is boring im done

Cinco de Mayo...yayay ..

2005-05-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

Hola como estes? Just felt like starting in Spanish since today is cinco de mayo, I dont know how much that means elsewhere but here in Texas especailly down here near San Antonio, its party time...I think the actually holiday is about Mexico beating the French in some battle or something but its a great excuse to go eat mexican food today somewhere instead of a microwave..but yeah anyways , today is looking better than yesterday , yesterday just seriously sucked cause i had a major paper due and i had government yesterday..i only have those two classes on "b" days so i only have to finish the week in those classes tommorrow . Bu oh well and wait someone gets out of school monday...i dont rememeber who said that and im to lazy to look but your so lucky, but yes anywho....some exciting news all you DMB fans if any of you are they come out with a new cd on the tenth thats gonna totally rock...yes yes i cant wait because im going go by it and love it hopefully , they have never let me down before all though ive only been a dmb fan for about a year a nd a half now, ...but i still love their musicand i probably will for a while because they are not only a good band but each member are great masters at there craft...well talk to yall later im all done here

"hey man....stop staring"

2005-05-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

hey there kids , look at this my yearbook dilemma was solved ( it cost $60 bucks by the way) , I bought my brother a yearbook and my parents said they would pay me back , I guess they just had to sleep on it ... hmm yes yes , oh i hope you all liked my poem, it was inspried by htis girl that i really thought i was in love with but wasn't but yeah ..so complicated ....oh something rather exciting...i have 25 days left until I graduate...OH YEAH! I'M ALMOST DONE! muuuHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!....not that im happy or anything, but its kinda depressing knowing that my high school days are over well , yeah thats it for tonight.................

Other things on my mind...

2005-04-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

hey everyone , and welcome to yet antoher esipisode of the Ross Show ... yeah that was a totally unnessecary intro , but anywho, yeah , I need to ask you all a question , if you were going to buy a yearbook and you bought it yourself , and your parents wanted you to share that book you bought with your borther would you? This is what seemingly my mom wants me to do , I said okay ill buy him one hell jut have to pay me back ... but then my mom totally expoleded , I guess she kinda forgot that I'm a senior I guess..but oh well any who I thought I send yall a tidbit of the poertria de ross ...so heres one i wrote in health class cause i was totally bored...

wait,rewind,yeah there I am ,Mister Normal in a crowd of twelvehunderd
on my way to the class-which-I-hate, going the same way as always,
nothing out of the ordinary just all the same, but wait ! Hold on! Who was that?
Was that an angel that just crossed my path ?Surely my eyes weren't just graced by a little piece of heaven ?But surely she dosen't see me , Mr.Normal , Im just another face in the crowd , nothing that sticks out, but then waving-smiling-surely not at me ignites, surely shes gleaming at some other lucky dude , but than Embrace! She hugs me Mr.Nomal! And Suddenly I am one seperate from the masses , her Mr.Someone..

well hope you enjoy kids ...ttyl

The World comes to a bitter end or MAN U is in 3rd

2005-04-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

hmmm...i don't know why I even check the friggin tables anymore for the Premiership...because regardless of how many games are played man utd is still in third and my reds I think are hopelessly stuck there because Chelesea shows no signs of stopping and Arsenal is just that a bloody good scoring team , but ..yeah that whole little thing just meant not one single thing to most of you non- soccer people( im am so sorry your not beacause you are really missing out on the greatest sport ever played) ...but anywho, yeah this whole last week was great because all week i didn't have to go to school til eleven and that was great although most of th eweek i didn't sleep in , im more of a morning person mind you , and your like well hows that he post at night a bunch..yeah this is when i get off work , which is by the way annoying as ever and forever shall be until i move on from this little place in Kerrville , Texas, wow look at tis little tidbit..

....I probably made the weirdest buy in my very veteraned cd buying life last night I bought a techno cd!! im not usally a fan of the repatitive beats and the yeah well beats of it all but i was in san antonio last night at barnes and noble and just so happened this cd caught my eye or actually its title , Parade for the Athletes, ..the cd is the dance dj that performed at the olympic games which is besides soccer the greatest show on earth atletically, but yeah its actually a good cd... so there!! you tkae those thoughts of me not likin techno out of your head..i only semi like it now...but goodnight kids im tired.....yeah.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :0

Sometimes I wish...

2005-04-20T20:30:00.000-07:00

hmm lets see where to begin , i tried to go post comments on all you other wonderfu peoples blogs but it kept redirecting me to the blogger homepage...why?!? why are computers stupid, because we make them that way haha.. yeah anyway there is already a new pope, boy that was quick im not catholic so I dont know why I keep going on about this but anyway , yeah i just thought htat it was rather fast selection of a leader for one of the biggest religous groups in the world..or maybe its just me, yeah but anyway , I applied to that universty in Denver, and I prayed over the app liek six times before i sent it in ... well see what happens in my wacky little world..il ttyl kids

Love: will it ever play fair?

2005-04-19T06:02:00.000-07:00

Love will never play fair and I've made that now offical a scientific fact! Becuase since it never has and proably never will play fiar it should be some fact of science but i don't know if you can put emotiions into science unless...but anywho yeah, I saw this freat movie the other day which I thought I wouldn't like but turned out to after watching it, " Finding Neverland" was the movie and for a Johnny Deep movie it wasn't to off the wall which usally is the case when it comees to him.. yeah it was a great movie and if you havent seen it you should beacause its good, yeah and thats simply that ; (semi-colons look so weird <==) , I still haven't gotten my quizino's sandwhich yet jo , but i might get it on the way to school today, since i don't have to go tell later because its the TAKS test today, and i'm a senior and no longer have to take it haha... <:)>>> (oh yeah , the TAKS test is a standerdizied test from hell that we have here in Texas , I really think they should all be burned because its stupid and pointless because what if your not a good test taker and you fail it, at the present time you can't graduate ..hmm those are some very stupid texas apples for you to think about..not taht any of yall care...but ...(cricket,cricket)...)Oh yes! I remember...wait no I don't suddnely I have forgotten what i was thinking I was going to write just a second ago...yes!...okay! ..I wrote a letter to the editor of our paper here in Kerrville, wow! Because they wrote anarticle in it about the fact that the drug search at school didn't turn up a lot , in a way as if they were disapointed, so I wa like shouldn't we be happy...so i worte a letter to the editor although short I hope to see it in the paper soon..I don't know why i want to see my own thing in the paper its not like I wrote an article or anything... end with a quotable shall we..
"
My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?
Charles M. SchulzUS cartoonist (1922 - 2000)

Quitters. Slackers: Oh Work its great isn't it!

2005-04-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

yes...a few people, have been really on my ticked off at list at , because they decied that they don't wants to come to work anymore so there for i have to work for them and though im getting more hours , i don't want them beacuse i can;t do anything else...yeah that really sucks ..but anywho , these things are great to hate haha , but yes anywho , life in general seemed to get better today but tomorrow seems to already be looming very quickly , yes well i don't have much to say ...crapweasel ( lol thats a funny word) yeah you know what im saying im so tired and my brain is fried so im gonna go to bed..

Few days since ive been here ...and im really lonely

2005-04-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

hello kids havent been in here for a while simply because of lack of things to say and lack of time. man i've been busy i've been at work for most of this last week and realized that this job might not be working out like id like it to , but im sure there is a nother job out there somewhere i just have to look, although i live and breath the game of soccer any sport sparks my interest and baseball season has started ...oh yes what fun! watching the astros win is one of my favorite thing s because , there is like 90 games left in the season, oh well i'll watch them anyday along with the Spurs, the NBA playoffs are about to beagan and my hometown(well sorta ) team is poised to win it all maybe, with there stars being questionable on health we shall see how they fair in the postseason... all the way baby all the way...!!!! but more about life ....no not really i don't want to put you to sleep, but yeah im glad im not thee only one
(not that i thought i was ) that is confused highly about the workings of the oppisitte sex minds. Yeah sometimes i think God has put ceartin girls in my life to drive me abouslte insane, because well they do thats simply it,....here i am in april and have no idea were im going to school in the fall , but Johnson and Wales Universty came and talked to our class at school and they have a smoewhat intersting major there of sports/event/entertainment management...that would totally cool and im gonna check it out i dont no how my parents would feel about me moving to Denver , but if thats were the road ahead takes me , i shall go pursue that because if i worked in that industry i could forever be invovled with sports in the professional side and that would be only second to let me see nothing! yeah working for a pro sports club would be totally rocking, only five wweeks to go and i am sure these will be the longest five of my life just sitting here waiting to graduate..grrr..i wish i could make the clock go faster ssomewhow but this not in my hands and shall never be for that matter, yeah thats pretty self explanitory...yeah well we see what my parents think because this thing in denver might finally be the thing im looking for ....ttyl kids

2005-04-11T17:13:00.000-07:00

i am beseeched by the ironies of my life...(last samurai) ... but regardless if this into comes from a movie, I will start that way because really thats how I feel , everday I am amazed by the beauty of the place i live in but somehow that each day i want to escape leave this all behind, man that is really a big struggle for me , a urge to escape, also be the way no offense to the majorty of the feamle audience that reads this but girls make me feel stupid and confused and and and ...yep that pretty much somes it up ..oh yeah i work at a small grocey store called Super S Foods.
(www.supersfoods.com )any who thats it ...

Hello ! Cruel World...

2005-04-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

wouldn't that be something? oh never mind i was kinda just thinking to myself there ...but anywho...its friday, which means tomorrow is saturday..which im running a 5k ( no its not that far kids geez)...well yeah anyway...i had to close tonight at work which on fridays is not fun because there must be some unwritten rule somewhere you have to pay ross with 100 dollar bills...and i hate that because then i have like no frikin' change and when theres only two cashiers and its six o clock that really really sucks...oh yeah craisns ...there good but not that good sorry kids, just not a big twisted twisted fruit sncak fan...yeah we sell em ' , i really hate stocking them because they fall over...grrr...and so does ceareal do yall really care ..no one proposed to me at work..so i did not have quite sucha as intesting a night as some di (wink wink) yeah ....thats great well i really don't know waht else to write about it ..so good night kids sleep well

Parents the other white meat and other things we hate

2005-04-07T06:20:00.000-07:00

Oh Parents! Man i love but in the same respect I really hate them ...grrrr...sometimes ...yes sometime they make angry , I think only in my house actually probably not , but anywho , can you get in trobule for something that you didn't even do and you have a witness, reagrdless if that witnesess is the cat Money Penny , you still have a witness(she saw it all and appaerntly is the only one who belives me lmao) Oh well , hmm lets see waht else , yeah the electives , yeah here at ye olde tivy we have a lot of electives , I mean if you want to maybe do it someday we have a class for it, and although it seems like I attend some giant high school I really don't its only got about 1200 in the whole school , so were decent size and the only high school in town , theres another high school in Ingram which is a hick town about seven miles away but they are pretty small and we don't compete with them in anything...yeah lets see oh yes If you want to see my high school and about it just check out our website ....http://www.kerrvilleisd.net/Tivy/default.htm...yeah itsan okay site , but at least it has some pics , as soon as I can ill get my pic on here ... i dont have a digital camera so i'll have to use the one in graphices class....yes we have a graphic arts class too, ah life in Texas is good kids , yeah i only have 7 weeks of school left and its totally awesome...because the final week of school we get go on like two trips one to Schlterbahn , which is a really huge water park near San Antonio , which is only like an hour a away, and also Mo-Ranch which is a camp outside of Kerrville , near quite possibly is the prettiest town in Texas..Hunt...yeah Im really not kidding , yeah but anywho , all that will be fun , oh yes my birthday ...July 9 ..on which this year i will be turning 18 which means really nothing besides the fact ima legal adult..yikes!!!...but yes ill be free well sorta from my parents....well i must go eat the chinise food we are making in culinary arts today ....ttyl

Comments!!!! Yes , I love you people I will never meet...

2005-04-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

Man you guys are great, no seriously hold the silent applause for yourself...because here in Texas im a clapping , and shouting (no not really) , that you all have posted a comment on my blog which means that you might have read my blog!! Altough I will probably in all likely hood never meet you unless my some strange ocurrance we meet in a flowered meadow somewhere , I love all just the same because you posted on my blog and for that I will be happy at least for the next five inutes....oh but even on that high note as I sit here and type this in class at school ( its culinary arts and my teacher dosent care), we have come to the sad realization that ESPN , that once graced our televisions in these sacerd halls of learning (snickers), has gone away , of all the channels the admidisrtation here at our beloved Tivy ( pronouced Tie- Vee...for all who wonder) they pull the plug on perhaps the greatest tv channel ever on the air waves....a moment of silence...well come on, don't act like Im stupid you would probably have a similar reation if such a thing happened to you , haha i just realized something im looking at the keys while i type im gald im not in tying class otherwise i would totally fial right now becuase I am cheating, this computer im using has Windows 98 and I never realized how slow it was til' i used it agin today after a long time...yeah anyways, yes i will add all your blogs to my links that still say edut me in the margin fell free to email me , because yeah emails are cool , but blogs are better, oh yeah if u ever have to watch the movie the pentagon papers ...run away very fast because its horible and i have to watch it in my Dual Government class, well I might post later ...ttyl kids

Yes! Yes! My head hurts its late but I have to blog...

2005-04-04T19:59:00.001-07:00

dang it ... i just posted a blank post, man i am stupid, oh well it was just a mistake, lets see not a lot happened to today, except that in one act us seniors got to pick a play or scene we are going to direct, I am directing a small play called "And Jack Fell Down", its pretty cool but under my direction , it can be excellent, isnt that great...I have to go to San Antonio tomorrow but for a choir competition so its not that big of deal , but I get out of school so waht the heck you know , well anyways, I just got done listenig to Damien Rice "O".. man thats a great album you should check it out if you like music in general because it is simply candy to my ears... yeah well thats pretty much it , so lets end it with this....
" If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything."
- Bill Lyon

yeah don't drink , don't drive don't do the two togetther, yeah and some other good stuff but my head hurts to bad to think of anything else so...tyyl

2005-04-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

oh yes , im am being a rebel and Im totally writing a second posting for today , because I want to and im a non-conformist,(hey! where are you all going wait up...lmao) but anywho...a few things came into my boring head today while I was stocking at work today for instance...Peanut Butter Dog Biscuts "Now Better Tasting"...who test these doggie morsels to see wether or no they taste good, kinda makes you think don't it, oh and by the way i think i should metion this , that gelfing posted a comment on my blog the 1st one I've ever had and since you are really the only one who probably reads this...yeah is there anymore to say, no I don't think so...lets see here quote time:
" Resse's are my passion, well I always forget there my passion til I have one"-Rachel
( oh that quote brings another point to mind Resse's Peaunt Butter Cups in the Resse's the aposthephe shows ownership, if you ever meet someone with the name of Resse you will have to give up your candy because unofically they are his...put that in your pipe and smoke it...)
" Why do we never see the virgin mary in healthy foods..." Jay Leno
"Firefox is the coolest" -Me
(if you don't have the firefox broswer you should www.getfirefox.com)
well talk to you later...

2005-04-03T06:08:00.000-07:00

haha ...the voice of a revoltionary, no not really...it just sounded cool so i put as a title cause i got bored of the old one , but anywho...the pope died yesterday like i stated before and now his body is lying in state in the vatican , which looks a little weird if you haven't seent the photo, he's kinda just laying on a bed in the middle of the Apostolic Palace...we will probably all the see the funeral since it will be brodcast all over the world, kinda like when mother thersa died except that this time the man who died was considered the "holy father" , so its gonna be one big and bad funeral , I wish I could have a funeral that big, which brings a question to my mind...if i were to die today , who would come to my funeral? I know that my family would all be there , but who else ...? Would you? Oh well weird question that in reality is answered simply that you don't know who's at your funeral because you've died and gone off to a better place...but yeah i know that was compeltly random or what not, but i need to stop for today because if i dont im gonna be late for work, ttyl

2005-04-02T12:50:00.000-08:00

hmm...what to say now, oh yeah let's see...once again i have been defeated in antoher area of my life this time though it was in one act play, dang all that work for nothing!! and the thing that pisses me off about it the most is that most people in one act with me were happy that we lost man, you really have to not enjoy something to be able to enjoy losing!! oh well, the page is closed on yet another chapter of my somehow, somewhat boring life...ah yes the irony of it all, i fell pressed on every side right now trying to make a decision about my future , MY FUTURE , not theirs all though they seem to be in control here, man I hate not being in control ... it really bothers me, no i am not a control freak, i just like to know that i have some abilty to change the my future although none of us really can...the pope died today , and was a big deal , although i am not catholic i feel like his death will affect me somehow and in someway, but we will see, ...well thats all for right now i might be back later ..ttyalllater...

2005-03-25T12:21:00.000-08:00

Well its finally over... my high school soccer is done and I perdicted it long before this season started but instead of finishing 5-5 we finished at 4-5-1 , and the tie was highly unexpected , it was to Borene , and with 44 seconds left at 1-1 , but oh well , its all cool and everything my one act play is going good I guess, we are still over the 40 minute mark , but we cut out a lot a few days ago so well see what happens and see if it will bring us back into the time range...(cross our fingers) uh, girls are weird as usal and i still have to deal with them well thats all i have right now ill talk to whoever if anyone who reads this , later

2005-03-07T07:30:00.000-08:00

yes, yes i know its been a while since i've logged in here and a lot of things have changed since december. hmm, i think when i posted my last entry i had already started my new job , but if I didn't say what it was ealier I am working at Super S foods. Yeah , I like it there because number one its so easy compared to jobs I have had previously that its ridiculous . Yeah I know for sure that I have metioned the so called girl I was totally in love with, with is the key word , I really thought she was someone I really loved but thats okay after see ripped my heart out of my chest and stepped on it , we decied that it was cool just to be good friends....(sigh) oh well I am now in one act play and have really met some cool people and a really cool girl ,) but more than likely none will come of that relationship either but will see.... soccer season is half way over and will be finished with regular play next week, so far we are shooting barely at 50%...3-3 and we have four games left I predect a 5-5 finish because if history repeats itself we will ose Friday and next week, but actually make that 6-4 because our game aginst fburg was kinda a fluke and we really should have won.. after going scoreless for the previous two games and holding the game at 3-2 for most of the game lets just say that fburg was lucky... and I have deciced to go to San Antonio College to attend there fire academy and become a firefighter , this waht i feel I am supposed to do but if i change my mind m y parents said it wouldn't be a problem ....yeah for them i kinda like to be concluive but hey will see... I haven't written any music in a while but the music ive been listening to has changed from my previous some what heavier roots, I am listening to a lot of auctosic driven rock, like DMB, John Mayer , Bob Marley ...yeah you know all that good stuff..I hope i can pull someting out with this new girl will see...until next time....live hard , rock loud

2004-12-16T04:28:00.000-08:00

ah yes..midterms..the time of year you love to hate and really love to know there here, and so they aer as the end of the semester is quickly aproaching...my senior year is almost half wat through tomorrow in fact in will be, thats quite scary, knowing the fact that in five months my last soccer season will be over and I will graduate, whoa..anyway im still liking the same girl beacuse is so much to me...more then she will ever understand...ttyl

heart stealer...

2004-12-12T12:37:00.000-08:00

hey people,
every day I wake up and I totally am amazed on how much I truly love this girl .... I hate not seeing her and love it when I do...she is totally awesome and I like her more than any girl I have ever liked in the past.. I went and saw her school band concert , and all I could see was her , I didn't focus on anyone else, ....she's stole my heart and I don't want it back

2004-12-03T17:34:00.000-08:00

hey kids..sorry i havent been here in a while...let see Ive met an awesome girl , she dosen't think she's a lot but she means the world to me, I love her to death...i wake up , i htink about her ...I go to sleep i think about here...yeah she has pretty much stole my heart, and i hope we decide to be together, ;) ...well lets see what else , oh yeah after school practice for soccer has started, and..uh..were looking okay, playoffs are more of a obtainable goal now, but we havent played our first game yet so will see, uh lets see waht else , the college shearch is going better and im getting closer to a descion...but im not sure yet, uh the christams dinner theater is going to be next week, i hope James dosen't kill us..lol..oh well , everyhting else is going good, well ttyalllater...

2004-08-24T20:10:00.000-07:00

hey kids...well here I go again.. i really cant tell you whats been happening cause Im not quite sure , I mean the military looks very good to me but its kinda liek im expected to go to college ..man being me seriously sucks right now..but anyway...nothing else is happening just school and work , which I seriously od not like , but anyhow...lif esucks right now

2004-08-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids ,
Yeah Im finally back after a crazy last two weeks ... well after the misson trip I just basiclly set around a week and now school has started and Im finally a senior..thank God I only have 35 weeks left until Im done with high school ..man it went by so fast It was just like the other day that I was a freshman..now Im one of the big dogs kinda weird isnt it.. well as far as college afterr this its kind of still up in the air ..I think Im supposed to go to to college bhut who knows mayabe God is still leading me to join the cost guard...that would be pretty downright cool...as far as compleltly random things our soccer team up @ Tivy is looking good ..or better put we have potential to be good...we are a team of alot of underclassmen and we havent learned quite yet how to function as a unit..but we sort of clicked yesterday when we played the second team (when I say we I mean the possible starters) we beat them 6-0 so we got some hope its okay..anyway Ive kind of toned down my musically selctions lately alot of contry and aucsotic stuff kind of setting my mood...yeah ive met this cool girl that is really great..so Ill type in here later see ya

2004-08-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

hey kids I know I havent checked in for a while so here it goes....well I just got back form Nashville, Tennesse , I was at M-Fuge. Man was that totally awesome God totally rocked my face off. I was in a group called Peer, where we went and basiclly just hanged out with people are own age. We went to a drug rehab center and to Woodland Hills Dentiton Center, that was intertisiting , we really were scared at first but they were the most open group of all the places we went, but the thing that really challenged me , was the messages, they really spoke to me to stop doing somethings I needed to get rid of in my life..he really made me think about my relationship with God, wow it was totally cool...but anyway my group members were totally awesome and I really enjoyed this week, I got a new job at Hometown Crafts but I havent started quite yet so dont hold your breath, and just a moment of venting here my gutair i still not in, its been four weeks one month since I ordered it this is getting old they will get anthoer call from me in the morning they will get tried of hearing my voice.. but oh well I cant do anything about it ..see you later

2004-06-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

hey kids whats going on..not a lot for me just the fact that God totally rocks my face off! Isnt that the coolest , God is challenging me to stop my tolerance of other peoples choices whent they are wrong , like the idea of pluralism, or the belif that their is more than way that you can get to God...Im sorry but thats wrong ..Jesus saud in John 14 that he is the way the truth and the life no one comes to the father except through him..thats pretty black and white , he said he was the only way thats not that hard..and I know you might be saying he Ross your so mean you should not hurt anyones feelings , Im not wrong when its the truth well until next time see you later

2004-06-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

hey guys, i know its been awhile since i have checked in but listen up guys..I went to this event last week called Frontliners and it is one of the greatest things i have ever done we were out there telling people anout christ and not just indirectly we were knocking on their doors and telling them the good news and I go to lead this 13-year old kid to christ how totally cool is that, well when we got back i got to thinking about where i stood with God, was it a good standing ... I knew I had prayed the sinners prayer when i was eight but the I dont think that I had ever prayed really and truly for Christ to take over my life ..I talked tto my dad last night and he prayed the sinners prayer with me..I finally feel the peace and joy of Christ for the first time and I desire to be found but still looking.always searching for and about God...becasue I will never be satisfied again with just being a Christian I want to know more..and If you dont know this Jesus im talking about check out: www.thekristo.com

2004-05-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

okay kids I have no idea why I wanted to do this but here goes really cool movies that you should own and some i shoul to:
Minorty Report
Catch Me If You Can
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
The Bourne Idenity
The Indiana Jones' Movies
The Orignal Star Wars Triolgy
Van Helsing(When Relased on Video)
Priates of the Carribean
Troy(when released)
Matchstick Men
Master and Commander the far side of the world
SWAT
Dumb and Dumber
The Matrix
2001: A Space Odessey
Airplane
Airplane 2
Blazing Saddles
Finding Nemo
Toy Story
Toy Story 2
The Transporter
The Mummy
The Mummy Returns
The Scorpion King
Signs
Unbreakable
The Sixth Sense
E.T.
The Great Escape
Jurassic Park

Im really tired but i know i have more if yall can think of anymore post some comments, lets get it done kids

2004-05-28T07:55:00.000-07:00

hey kids this has been really gay lately but anyway..here goes I would hav eposted earlier but for some reson it is not letting me so..but anyway has anyone every realized that womens pro sports suck..they arent even worth it the womens soccer leauge has already gone under and I bet that the WNBA isnt around long..eevery team in the WNBA lost over 1 mil apeice each year ..this should tell you something..americans want to see power and frankly womens sport dont have it..now dont get all gay on me and cry and send me hate mail..womens sports pro wise are a big joke so shut your mouth ....i mean im totally into to girls sports at the high school level..I can sit there and watch a bunch a hot girls play volleyball or what not..but other than that in the pros women should not play at that level..well anyway heres another thing that ticks me off ..christians who only act christian at christian events ,that gets a big stinkin crap on that from me..it just like stirring a bunch of fire ants to me..I mean act like who you are all the time..im out

2004-05-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

hey kids im back today..and not much has really been going on...except the fact that I've refound the joy of running or at least for me it is ...it makes me feel great just getting out there and hitting the road, its very cool ,to now that I can get out there and tear up the road you know ...out the miles behind me and go...so im pretty much pumped about running this summer so that I can be ready for cross country in the fall. That will be great to finally be one of the maybe best runners in cross country that would really cool. For the last two seasons I kinda of just ran to be able to play soccer but towards the end of last season I finally realized that I hated losing so that is going to keep me motivated this summer..im also going to a strength training camp at school in the mornings all during june and july so I cn swool it will be really cool...I hope that I get to go back in the fall and prove everybody wrong and become the number one contender I just wanna ge tback and blow everybodys mind "whoa were that kid come from" thats what their gonna be saying as I blow past them in the weight room and also on the feild....that would be totally cool and I hope I can achive that goal..everybody cross their fingers for me ..tomorrow im thinking about asking out this true hottie tommorrow, not only in body but she has a great personality ...shes totally cool and I would really like to now her better, so hopefully she will think im cool enough to go out with( stop laughing you punks!) but oh well ill see yall tommorow

play hard rock loud

2004-05-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

well here we go again not that anyone reads this but hey ill give it a shot anyway...well since the last time i was here i had just been in a state of shock when we lost our last game oh well damn border bandits...but jeeze today i was reading a friends blog and kinda went off in his comments area because something he worte in their reall kinda pissed me off. It was about the war on Iraq being turly a war for oil. screw that idea..if this was really a war for oil we would frikin steal all the oil in the land we have controlles...just because gas and oil prices are unusal high thats not a reason to turn around and get all John Kerry anti-bush on me...I mean beacuse the people are no longer in control of this system of goverment that is so called "democractic" that is by and for the people can you remember a time recently where the american people got to actually be involved with what desicions where made in the white house ill tell you its been a while...so long a while that most people are so apathic about govermant that they dont even vote anymore, in the last election only 36% of americans voted how patheic is that...we need to overthorw the goverment..but in a good way we need to seize it back from all the large corpartions and special interests groups that currently contral the american govermant.....I don't know about you but I think its time to get back what was origanlly the peoples government....well anyway back to the war on iraq or more directly the prisoner abuse in cuba by american troops...yeah i agree that it was wrong and the prisoners didnt deserve it ...but they should not and i stress that should not be relesed ...the people resonbiel for the beatings are no longer thier.... I know it sounds cruel but the beheading of the American contractor that was held prisoners is in some ways good(much sympathy to his family) it fuels the anger of the american people agaisnt acts of terror...and it also places in our hearts the fact and reality of the thing we call war......were in war that i sicerly hope that we stay in until we complete our portion of the war on terror...this is a differnt kind of war one in which were fighting both enemies seen and the idea that terror on people is okay...oh and a side note about that we are only helping our enemy by the few that want to stop this war, that is exactly what the enemy wanted for us to feud amongst ourselves...to slowly tear ourselfs apart which is what were doing...what happened to the patorism and pride in our country after september eleventh what happened to our cries for justice and know just because some prisoners got their feelings hurt we are now staunch anti-Bush and for Kerry....If you want a corruputed state that in which americans will be probably once again attacked and a soceity where gay marrige is okay everywhere then vote for John Kerry or some other guy...I am going to support PresBush not only is he a great leader but also a man of God who trusts in the almighty ot guide his descions.....support the soldiers no the war..........
play hard rock loud

2004-04-04T19:19:00.000-07:00

wasup kids, not a whole lot here just went to sa and talked with some old friends of ours from back in the day ! We ate at this really kickin' resturant and it was the coolest ! it was called the liberty bar and grill and the house looks like its about to fall down,which is really kinda cool , if you ever get a chance to go their you should because it is the coolest! other things goin on: lets see, theirs no more soccer so i can start working my old schedule at work, so i thought.....i turned in my schedule and my boss bitched about how that they had beared with me through the season working only one day a week and that i should not wanna now only work a few days a week...so as the strory goes i left and went and picke dup some applicatioins ...hopefully i can get another job pretty soon so i can get out of working at riverhill finally. lets see , schools going pretty goood since we only have about seven more weeks including exams so were about to be done for this year at least.....okay get this i now this is completly random and off the currnet subject ...but why do they always show the "ten commandments" at easter ...what does that have to do with easter! oh well like i say its all just one big crazy. i also went to Hermes and drool over some aucostic guitars im too broke to buy....eventually i can buy one as soon as i get my truck almost paid for i can have little bit more money...oh well until next time

2004-04-02T17:55:00.000-08:00

hey kids
well we lost the game! that is no so cool but oh well 23-5 is no shabby record,sp im okay with that, a state title would have been even better but theres always next year. yeah looking at college options just got a little bit harder because my parents cried and dont want me to go more than the outside of texas to go to school my first year....i think thats also a fear respons eof me talking about maybe joining the military ...the coast guard by all means but there to scared , mayabe i can go to school and then go in as as officer , but of well one step at a time i got to get out of high school first!(LOL) only one more year till im done baby and then i can very shortly celebrate freedom for a little bit and then ill be back in school doing all the same junk we did in high school only harder...dosent really sound all that appealing to me ! but until next time!

2004-03-29T20:37:00.000-08:00

hey kids havent checked in a while so here i go...well my soccer team is living the playoff dream we finally made it into the regional semis and we are pumped...the dream of state is so close we can smell it ....wow what a day it would be of we won i am going to take a day off from everything i think if we do ...not only have we set history now we really set it know if we win state, it will be the first team to do so in any sport for 30 years...how cool is that we have already made history twice in less than a week and were loving it ....we play some border bandits tommorw to see if we can adavance to the region 4 title game ....i belive in the dream...so until next time TFND

2004-03-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

hey kids,
wassup! not a whole lot here instead of the fact i think i have general anxiety disorder, thats great isnt it ? im so tired of the way peole think about me how they think im the one who should be made fun of.........arrgggrggrhghghgrhaahhghghghhghhhg oh man it makes me so angry thats why i like this you know i can rant and rave all i want to and no one can tell me wha they think, and quite frankly even if they did i wouldnt give a flying rip. well anyway practice sucked today because it was one of those seemingly anti-Ross days . i dont know if you have ever had one of those days when you think that everyone is against you . man oh man im just getting warmed up. ahhhhhhhh, i always have emotion that builds up on me and i have no way to let it out but this , and i think that i need to find some way to let it all out physically , like a punching bag that would be great to have you know or a batting cage or a driving range something to just whack but not like the mob, but really knock the living crap out of something ...that is a way i think i could get it all out i need to try that eventually , well once again thanks for reading

2004-03-20T06:25:00.000-08:00

sorry guys but i have to vent ..isnt that a sweet peice of cheese! okay anyway i really really really ahte being told the wrong info and embrassing myself like i did this morning i was told that practice today was at 8a.m. i show up and i wait ed and then i waited and no one ever freakin came. so im going back at ten even though its makes me extermly angry! my brother says he dosent get why i get mad at a lot of stuff. i think the reason is that so many times in the past i have been coned just beacuse im me i guess. and that reallly makes me made that people always think that they can pull one on me. i mean really what have i done wrong to everyoen why does it seem that when they need a scapegoat they always look at me to be it . ihate being the scape goat because it really ticks me off. i ahve done nothing but been myself . but i also have to remind myself that jesus said that he was presucted so we would be to ....ah the ahrd facts , sometimes i wish my world wasnt so wacky!

2004-03-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

oh no look whos back you gussed it , it is me. Your a good gusser! Whoa that was way too much corny in one sentence. okay lets get to it kids life was pretty good today and i just got to chill for most of the day. Soccer practice was suprisingly fun, thats saying a lot since it was during spring break. Well i hope things are all going good for yall.
have a kickin 'day!

2004-03-17T14:53:00.000-08:00

okay kids unfourantely for you im back and kickin'. well nothing much has gone on today except working for Manuel that pretty much was not on my cool list ! But hey its cash money anyway. Im still in the ever troubling world of why my parents happen to be really big meanies(suprisingly they didn't take my truck away)! But im just kickin back now sitting in my brand spakin new cowboy hat !
Its the coolest and was really cheap so i won all the way around on that one(haha isn't that a how bou thtem apple) well see later!

2004-03-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

welcome all you people who happen to care (or don't), but really it dosn't matter either way because you have read up to this so you really do.....hahahaha, but oh well parents really really suck! I don;t know if anyone has ever noticed that but i have. Im in trouble for not making some stupid phone call and my stupid boss says i only give 85% well i can also give him 100%of a two weeks notice, well actually not yet but anyway , everything else isnt as screwed up as all that but its pretty dang close so see you later!